The Wholeness Psychotherapeutic Counselling process offers support, guidance, new perspectives and strategies for dealing with the interference patterns that are the accumulation of life’s stresses. The goal is to help each person be more effective and better able to handle the on-going stresses of work, relationships, society and dealing with life situations as a whole. Wholeness Counselling also helps us develop new skills and strengths for expanding our awareness, resolving inner conflicts and being more fully present in the world.
From the time we were born, besides the infinite number of good and often wonderful experiences we have, we are sometimes subjected to experiences that overwhelm. Experiences that were traumatic, intensely emotional, threatening to life and limb, or chronically humiliating and degrading, and many other kinds all of which can have a tremendous impact our bodies. They can also colour and affect our relationships, our work, our sense of self for the rest of our lives.
As with all areas of life from learning to drink from a cup to flying an airplane we continually acquire life skills through family life, our interactions with peers and school experiences. We never stop learning new skills. The vast majority of these skills concern our ability to survive and flourish in the world at large. Few, if any, address our inner world. Like hockey in “the olden times” when I was a kid, if you wanted to play hockey you were expected to have learned to skate on your own.
Wholeness Counselling offers perspective, understanding and practical skills to help negotiate the inner world upon which all of our outer experience in life is based.
Learning the skills for being in charge of our inner lives and who we are is no different than learning the resources we use to function in the outer world. There are simple mechanics that if understood allow us to engage our world more effectively leading to greater fulfilment in life.
Of the various approaches the Pattern Healing Strategy seems to be the most profoundly effective.
It is odd that in our culture there is little emphasis in general education on the inner skills we need to be really good at what we do in any area of life.
Those that are really good naturally through genetics seem to develop their particular skills and talents effortlessly. The rest of us do our best by watching and being taught we work hard putting a lot of time and effort into our espoused areas of expertise. But sometimes no matter how much we want it
EUSTRESS & DISTRESS
We are all subjected to stress all through our lives that range from violent traumatic injuries to just having light hit our retinas when we open our eyes in the morning. It can also be mental or emotional stress such as preparing for an important exam or having a five year old’s best friend saying, “You’re not my friend anymore!” to facing a bullying employer every day or a little thing (to many) where one’s favourite character killed off in a TV series.
Everything we experience is stressful. Our bodies (and our minds) exist within a certain range of flexibility. Temperature is one example: a 6° C shift from the normal 37° body temperature can cause death. We only have a core flexibility of less than 12° C. And yet as a species we have adapted and living and surviving in the deserts and polar regions of the planet. And yet if our internal temperature goes up or down a few degrees the stress of it will put our lives in jeopardy.
The impact every moment of experience has is immense if not on the conscious level then definitely in the unconscious mind. We generally take it all for granted and yet we day by day grow older.
The difference between eustress and distress is that eustress or good stress occurs within the range of flexibility of the system where as distress pushes the system beyond its ability to return to balance.
Going to a gym to workout following a systematically progressive plan to strengthen and build endurance our bodies will get stronger. But if we push ourselves and try to lift weights that are more than our bodies can handle we will end up with vertebrae out of alignment, muscle strain, pain and suffering.
In an inanimate system like a steel beam designed to bear a certain amount of weight, the point at which the beam will become permanently distorted is called its co-efficient of resilience. That is the dividing point between good stress and bad stress. It is the same for us. We become distorted to the point where it seems we can’t return to balance on any level.
Our bodies can repair an amazing amount of old accumulated stresses as well as handle what we are presently incurring.
Counselling is an approach to helping a person develop the perspective, and resources to work out the solutions to their own difficulties. The purpose is to empower individuals in their lives so they are able to be more effective and appropriate in their interactions with the world and others.
Many people confuse power with control. Control is what many of us try to do when we don’t have our power. Power is having lots of options available. The opposite is being a victim where there are no options. If we need to control others by limiting their options we create the illusion of power. Underlying the illusion is the fear that we are really the victim.
Much better is helping others to have as many options as possible. One teacher said it is infinitely better to be a master of masters than a master of slaves.
In systems theory the aspect of any system that has the most options controls the system.
of assessment, guidance, education, and support in order to assist clients in coping with various life situations. This process is geared towards change in cognitive, affective, behavioural, and contextual experiences that interfere with healthy development and functioning of a person. While it does not tell someone what to do, it certainly offers different perspectives and new strategies to deal with situations, and the client takes an active role in the process.